Raquel English

Category Archives: advice

The Week Before Yule

Good Morning darlings,

The fall has come and in less than two weeks it’ll be Yule. I am tickled pink to share this Christmas holiday with Oliver and my BG. Last year I was spending the time with my children in Oklahoma, which was lovely in itself too. I do look forward to having all my children visit me here on the coast, perhaps next year. That’ll be a dream.

This is a little picture I painted for our holiday card. It turned out adorable. The inside caption says,”Merry kisses and Christmas wishes. Love, The Stafford’s” I love it so…

It’s so interesting to me that when I was raising all of my children I had so many traditions and carried on with all of them. Things in my life now are so much simpler. I find having a lovely fresh Frazier fir, a few handmade ornaments, a few strands of lights, some balsam pine candles and I’m as pleased as punch.

I think that one of the reasons for all of the bells and whistles that I used to have to have, was truthfully because I was trying to fill gaps that were lacking in my life.

You know what else is interesting? I see that in so many women nowadays. If I could just cradle them and chat with them, telling them life isn’t about “STUFF” or staying so busy. I used to be that woman that would catch onto all those pyramid businesses, like selling candles, cosmetics, pampered chef parties, etc. you name it… I was staying absorbed in it all. That’s not even considering all the volunteering I did. Now, I’m not one to say that I don’t like to serve and be kind in that way, but I know that where my heart was in doing the acts of service weren’t where I should’ve been. I believe too many women extend themselves way beyond their capabilities. All in the name of trying to earn a sense of self-love and acceptance. When the acceptance we are internally really reaching for is our own acceptance. We truly come from a conditioned society of feeling the need to earn our existence. I really believe that if women had more self-love and confidence we wouldn’t have so much depression and stress among women.

I do also realize that I was on my own journey too back then {still am} and we all learn from our own life experiences, not words.

I find that really loving the act to serve out of the sheer joy of it, is the way to go. If we have a guilt, feeling of having to, feeling sorry for, obligation, we should not do anything under the guise of these feelings. It’s all in vain anyway, if you ask me. I say that because what happened to me is that I started to resent people and any kind of act, even down to doing things for my husband, children and parents.

My rule of thumb now is… I ask myself, do I really want to do this? Am I doing it because I really want to, and am I doing it for the sheer joy of it? If those are a ‘Yes’ I’m all aboard!

I happy as a clam for you each swimming by to say hello and spend a little time with me today. I also wish you a lovely Christmas and a most beautiful New Year!

I personally cannot wait! Everyday is truly a gift and I have a whole treasure chest full of them!

I love you each so very much.

 
raquelsig

Yoga Represents Mending Your Soul

 I told you last week on Mermaid Junkie TV that I was struggling with intense lower back pain because I had loads of resentment (metaphysical) towards others, especially Sailor.

I know some may find it revealing that I come right out and say that, but I believe it’s important to express my true feelings. Stop holding back what pains I struggle with. If I am not willing to spill my heart over this keyboard, what good am I in trying to help others. I think people want others to share their experiences. It connects us. We as mortals desire, in fact, must have connection to survive. But so many are afraid because of the judgment or for fear that it will make them seem that they aren’t as perfect as they had envisioned. We are afraid to show people who we really are. And most times, it’s because we are afraid of our very own selves.

I think we all struggle with some deeply buried soul wrenching adversities and light has to be shed on issues before they ever begin to change. Change for me or others.

I wanted to share with you my journey of transparency.

I showed you this picture yesterday on social media explaining that I saw something in the experience that day, I hadn’t seen until now.

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I was reminded of fear and trust. This position on the rock was really difficult to get into (not to mention I had to look calm). The rock was hanging over a huge cliff. I would’ve fallen onto jagged rocks into cavern walls and the fall was very high. I have a fear of heights. The photographer kept comforting me by saying, “You are okay, you are safe. Just trust me Raquel I won’t let you fall, I will catch you if you start to fall.” That day reminded me  that sometimes were afraid to trust others because we don’t trust ourselves first. My goal is to one day go out to that cliff and do some mermaid yoga with my dear friend Cindi.

I was afraid to get back into my yoga practice. I was afraid for several reasons. My back had been getting worse and worse. I was tapping and it would work for a few days. But then it’s would get ten times worse than it had before.

I just had to face my fears and get back on the mat. I also had to continue loving all of myself. My physical body had to be embraced before yoga was going to heal me. 

I had to meet Raquel there and comfort her through the pain. The pain of facing things I was ignoring. I need to be true to that girl in the mirror.

Are you being true to yourself? Are you living your days transparent with yourself and others?

“Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.”

This was me a year ago. I wasn’t always in love with myself or my body.

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‘Mermaid Pose’

I stopped and hadn’t practiced yoga for over two decades. I was lost. Yoga takes you to your internal core and I knew that in my heart and I knew I still wasn’t willing to see or love certain parts of myself or my body.

Do you know what yoga does to your mind, body, and soul? 

It’s frees you; if you let it. It takes you to a place of mending. It helps you to reconcile with yourself. It gives rise to what’s troubling you. Where you have gaping wounds that need to be restored.

Yoga takes you to a place where only a soul can completely reveal itself.

That’s why many don’t practice yoga. They may use several words to describe in their minds, but those labels are simply reasons that we as humans excuse ourselves from diving deep into the oceans of our soul. To connect.

It’s hard for many. I know, because I was swimming as swiftly and as hard as I could against the current of who I was.

Please understand I’m not judging you if you aren’t practicing yoga. This blog is an ocean of non-judgment. You’re perfect just the way you are. I’m just sharing my experience with you in hopes that something I say or express will spark something inside of you. I love you and I sincerely care about you.

“Your journey has molded you for your greater good and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think that you’ve lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.” -Asha Tyson

When you sit with yourself for a moment, ask yourself why you work out and want to be healthy, happy and fit.

If you come up with the reason that you absolutely love and adore yourself and you want to treat your body with love and respect by taking good care of it.

Well then. You’re on the right wave.

Today I want you to love yourself right where you are.

On a yoga mat or not.

We Must Stop Comparing Ourselves

Hello, Mermaid Junkies

I want to know if the Love Affirmations were useful for you. Did you try them?

Yesterday I saw a shirt on a young gal that said, ” My mommy’s blog is better than your mommy’s blog.”

It seems harmless enough, right?

Wrong!

Here’s why:

It’s the Comparison Queen Ursula lurching her ego-centered head.

queen-ursula

•It’s teaching the young child wearing the shirt that somehow her mother is better than other mothers that are bloggers.

•It’s another reminder that the young girl is being taught that she should compare her abilities to another person and that somehow one person is “better” than another.

• The young girl is at the beginning or mid stages of having self-worth issues being encouraged by her mother. (93% of communication is nonverbal).

We as mothers must really learn to love and accept our own individual worth or we won’t be able to change the world.

We must realize that even the seemingly insignificant things such as a t-shirt with a message is sending out the wrong ideas to our young children.

fish a e quote

Let’s be mindful that this kind of thing is not showing forth ” love” to anyone.

Comparison creates massive insecurities in women and its filtered into our children one drop at a time.

Love yourself and then your children will see your example. When you  have great self-worth and love, your child will also emulate that for themselves.

Follow by example.

Tell me what you think. Do you think the shirt is sending the wrong message? Also, let me know what your day was like trying the affirmations. I really want to hear feedback. Thanks ya’ll.

I love you, have a ♥ filled day!

Love Isn’t Earned, It’s Freely Given

We have a program in our church called Primary. It’s for children from ages 3-12.

Mermaid Raquel w child @ event
During the year around Thanksgiving and Christmas, the little children prepare to give a presentation to show the ward what they’ve been working on. They memorize parts and stand at the podium and recite their part.
I remember those days when my children did that and I also remember the days of being frazzled.

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I had the opportunity to witness this in my ward recently.
One of the ‘popular mothers’ in our ward was sort of put on display, of not her own choice, but by her children’s choice; by the way of a fit. Continue Reading

I love Her Guts!

kristen

A while back I did a review on Kristen Johnston’s book Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster. I think it bears repeating, especially since it’s now out in paperback, as well as, audio. I posted the links below.

So here it is:

It is time for me to get my tail wet in the waters of review.

She is Kristen Johnston, & I love her GUTS! I have coined her as my little sentimental cloud of hilarious.

There is a “thin line between comedy & tragedy?”

Kristen laces her story with themes of feeling like an awkward adolescence, loneliness, struggling with addictions, tragedy, & her rebirth of life.

Kristen wrote the book to help other addicts, as well as, people that are involved with addicts.

Addiction wears a cloak of secrecy & embarrassment. She breaks the barrier by revealing her own personal struggles in a raw, witty & unfiltered way.

When I read books, I want to feel like I could be a best friend with the author. When I was reading Kristen’s book I felt like she was sharing jokes with me. She manages to be wildly irreverent, witty & somehow she will captivate you by her pure & dark delight.

I have yet to encounter Kristen, but I feel confident that she would be one of the nicest, most genuine, nurturing & down-to-earth person I would ever meet.

This book will be a gift to all who read it. It touched my heart deeply.

I am giving this book a four star review (that fifth star is superfluous, don’t ya think…like having a sixth toe or third testicle).

kris-laughing

Now what are you waiting for? Go here & buy the dang book already! If your super lazy you can get it Here in audio.

raquelsig

Will You Sift Through These Bird Guts For Me?

  Try threading a kneedle when you’re half -blind. This is the proportionate level of frustration that I’m having with my son, S. I should say this upfront: I’m going to be as sarcastic as a female Dennis Miller, so this will have a colon-load of dysphemisms. I’m just forewarning you. Sarcasm is my cushion for… Continue Reading