I told you last week on Mermaid Junkie TV that I was struggling with intense lower back pain because I had loads of resentment (metaphysical) towards others, especially Sailor.
I know some may find it revealing that I come right out and say that, but I believe it’s important to express my true feelings. Stop holding back what pains I struggle with. If I am not willing to spill my heart over this keyboard, what good am I in trying to help others. I think people want others to share their experiences. It connects us. We as mortals desire, in fact, must have connection to survive. But so many are afraid because of the judgment or for fear that it will make them seem that they aren’t as perfect as they had envisioned. We are afraid to show people who we really are. And most times, it’s because we are afraid of our very own selves.
I think we all struggle with some deeply buried soul wrenching adversities and light has to be shed on issues before they ever begin to change. Change for me or others.
I wanted to share with you my journey of transparency.
I showed you this picture yesterday on social media explaining that I saw something in the experience that day, I hadn’t seen until now.
I was reminded of fear and trust. This position on the rock was really difficult to get into (not to mention I had to look calm). The rock was hanging over a huge cliff. I would’ve fallen onto jagged rocks into cavern walls and the fall was very high. I have a fear of heights. The photographer kept comforting me by saying, “You are okay, you are safe. Just trust me Raquel I won’t let you fall, I will catch you if you start to fall.” That day reminded me that sometimes were afraid to trust others because we don’t trust ourselves first. My goal is to one day go out to that cliff and do some mermaid yoga with my dear friend Cindi.
I was afraid to get back into my yoga practice. I was afraid for several reasons. My back had been getting worse and worse. I was tapping and it would work for a few days. But then it’s would get ten times worse than it had before.
I just had to face my fears and get back on the mat. I also had to continue loving all of myself. My physical body had to be embraced before yoga was going to heal me.
I had to meet Raquel there and comfort her through the pain. The pain of facing things I was ignoring. I need to be true to that girl in the mirror.
Are you being true to yourself? Are you living your days transparent with yourself and others?
“Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.”
This was me a year ago. I wasn’t always in love with myself or my body.
I stopped and hadn’t practiced yoga for over two decades. I was lost. Yoga takes you to your internal core and I knew that in my heart and I knew I still wasn’t willing to see or love certain parts of myself or my body.
Do you know what yoga does to your mind, body, and soul?
It’s frees you; if you let it. It takes you to a place of mending. It helps you to reconcile with yourself. It gives rise to what’s troubling you. Where you have gaping wounds that need to be restored.
Yoga takes you to a place where only a soul can completely reveal itself.
That’s why many don’t practice yoga. They may use several words to describe in their minds, but those labels are simply reasons that we as humans excuse ourselves from diving deep into the oceans of our soul. To connect.
It’s hard for many. I know, because I was swimming as swiftly and as hard as I could against the current of who I was.
Please understand I’m not judging you if you aren’t practicing yoga. This blog is an ocean of non-judgment. You’re perfect just the way you are. I’m just sharing my experience with you in hopes that something I say or express will spark something inside of you. I love you and I sincerely care about you.
“Your journey has molded you for your greater good and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think that you’ve lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.” -Asha Tyson
When you sit with yourself for a moment, ask yourself why you work out and want to be healthy, happy and fit.
If you come up with the reason that you absolutely love and adore yourself and you want to treat your body with love and respect by taking good care of it.
Well then. You’re on the right wave.
Today I want you to love yourself right where you are.
On a yoga mat or not.