A Mermaid's Work Ethic

Hello Mermaid Junkies, 

I hope you're doing well. 

I have a little confession to make to you. Apparently, from another's viewpoint, I really used to struggle with a work ethic. Not in the sense of doing what I love, because that to me isn't considered work really. I had always hated the idea of having to go out into the workforce and do something that I couldn't stand. 

Right before I moved from Oklahoma, I was feeling the pressure of going out and getting a "real job" as someone told me. 

So I decided to comply{once again doing what someone else wanted me too} and get a "real job." I decided that if I HAD to get a freaking job, I'd go to Anthropologie because at least there I would get a discount and I have loved Anthro since forever. 

Here's where the situation gets dicey. I want to explain the backstory about this. So let me back up a bit. I get going midbrain thought and tend to get ahead of myself. You know me.

When the decision was made without me, we had to leave my greatest love, California to move to where the work was. Never mind the fact that I wanted to stay in California forever. 

So I was already deeply wounded and resentful towards my ex, at the time. 

He had been fired from his television job in San Diego, and the only job he could get was a tv job from an old boss that used to be in Salt Lake, that was now in Oklahoma. Let's just say, the pay was almost nonexistent in comparison to how we used to live.

So in order to be in a "decent home (quote by my ex) and the kids in a good school system," I was going to have to make at least 300 dollars a month to add to the household income and make the rent. 

I was like, that's totally fine. I know how to make money. I could sell stuff that I make, paint little pictures, do some design jobs on the side, or my all time favorite... have some cool yard sales. That was my thought.

Well, that wasn't good enough apparently. I made almost 500 dollars in one weekend on my first garage sale. 

But here's the thing. When there is a communication gap in a marriage that is on its way to splitsville as it is, no one is hearing anyone.

Ya know what I mean. In order for me to technically support the household, I was expected to get a job like every other person because that's the way he did it. 

Too often, people put their mindset and rules onto another. 

That's what causes people to become disconnected. Because look, I was making up the difference, but because it wasn't me going to a place, clocking in and spending my time there, it wasn't good enough. 

P.S. Side note, when someone is miserable in their own life you can never bend over backwards enough. They will always find a way to make it about you and blame you. Just saying that you should know from my lips to your ears. You will never be enough. Oh and also I lasted at Anthropologie for a sum total of two weeks and my paycheck for all those hours was $109.00. I freaking HATED IT!!! So I quit!

I am a freedom seeker, and I was suffocating ya'll. In more ways than one, I might add. 

So now here we are in the present day, over three years later. I am still one to hate going to a 9~5 job, can't stand it and I will not do it. I'm working on this dream. I'm working hard. And I won't quit until I've achieved it. 

Come to find out, I've learned a few things about lil' ol' me, Raquel. Heres what I've learned and it has been a beautiful gift. 

I actually am a hard hard hard worker! I have a killer work ethic and I have been working my ass off day in and day out since before even Jeffrey and I met. Now, I don't clock into a job and work my day's wages, but I work hard none the less. I work at home, writing this blog, creating YouTube content, creating podcast content, work in my little cottage by doing projects, sell my little paintings on Etsy, sell things on Offer Up... and the list goes on. 

I am just like many women, probably just like you reading this. I am a mother that ran a whole household, kept a beautiful well working schedule, taught my children to work by instilling in them responsibility, self-awareness, and independence. Still managed to create a lovely little underwater world for them. Kept them shielded from the awfulness that was a fraudulent marriage. And yes, if I had to do it again, all over from scratch I sure the hell would. But do not ever say I don't have a good work ethic. I am the epitome of work ethic. Women nowadays... hell, even forever do not get the credit for raising great children. Being a stay at home mother is a thankless job. We are the dream makers. We are the ones that will change the world. So don't ever listen to someone spouting off at the mouth that you don't have a work ethic, or that you don't like to work. My ass...

It has made me stronger than ever. I am an all out BADASS Entrepreneur! I am actually proud of that ya'll. 

I can bet that you resonate with my story and that you are a badass too. Own that badassery ladies. You deserve it. I have faith and trust in you. I truly believe there is NOTHING, NOTTA, ZILCH that we as women can not do. 

I know in the midst of me creating a business, that its tough as shit. I'm not gonna lie. Any sane person would have given up by now. I work 14 plus hours, long into the night trying to understand dumb shit like Instagram stories, and how to get traffic to my blog, try to figure out why the hell my little paintings aren't selling on Etsy. No damn money coming in, and whats that telling me internally? I know it's my mindset, and I'm figuring that out. I still have some money beliefs that I must work on. But today I am happy that I have you to talk with. To go through this process together, and for you to see that I go through shit just like ya'll do. I want to go on this voyage/journey together. That we as a community can learn. 

Because if there's one thing that bites my ass in irritability, is when women don't share their life story. They always act like they have things figured out. That to me is clear as day BULLSHIT. Just be real people, is what I wanna say to their faces. ya feel me?

This is the stuff that keeps me up at 2 am in the morning ya'll.

So this post is a reminder to listen to your own heart, follow your own path and never listen to anyone except yourself. My motto for this year is a quote from Michael Phelps. 

"Stay in your own lane. keep swimming forward and don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Don't look over at other lanes." ~Michael Phelps

Meaning, don't look and compare yourself to other women! Period, don't do it. Because if you do, you'll soon be drowning in lack, feeling shitty and none of its true. So knock that crap out. muawhhhh...I'll see you beautiful Mersisters tomorrow.

Yours til my next swim, Raquel