Why I Changed The Name Of My Non~Profit To The Carter Settlement

My dear friends, 

Good Morning. Well, as of Monday, Jeffrey and I are safely put in our new 'temporary' home. When Jeffrey and I drove to our little hometown for the first time, with the car loaded of all we owned, we knew this was surely going to be an enjoyable little adventure.

This morning I am having a cup of earl grey tea, and a piece of pumpkin cake. I'm curious as to what type of loose leaf teas you're fond of? Have you found one that is especially reminiscent of England? Please share with me, as I am in a much smaller town and I think I may have to order my teas online for now on. 

As you may know, this blog is basically my online diary, always has been and will remain as such. So, no~ I don't share every single morsel of my life on here, as I would my paper journal, but I do share quite a bit. I keep this online journal as a way to continually learn transparency, almost like a visual progress report. I genuinely like being transparent with you. To me, words are the way that I have always viewed the world and how I cope with making sense of experiences that arise in my life. I have always felt happy when I've written words down because my words and feelings are safe on paper. Have you ever felt that way? 

Sharing my feelings with you is a way of healing, growth and learning for me. I mean, let's be truthful here, I am a bit selfish. Because- first of all, I do write for me, and, well~ isn't that what many writers do? I mean,~ isn't that why they are initially sharing anything that they do? Because, It's a form of expression, yes?

Ummm... {clearing throat} so, the reason for this post is that you may have noticed, if you have taken a gander on my website, you've seen that I have, indeed, changed the name of my 501 (c)(3) non~profit organisation. So, beings that it's a foundation that I created for you, really, I wanted to tell you what happened and why I changed the name. Now, mind you, it may take me a few thousand words to get there, because, let's admit it~ I am a church lady with a long~winded spirit. {smile}

In 2014, you may recall that is when I originally founded The English Settlement. I had also begun working with the City of Carmel actively seeking a curatorship at Flanders mansion. Well, as life would have it, during that time I became embroiled into the process of ending my 24-year marriage, and many other life experiences interfered, so I had to put my foundation on hold.

Isn't it amazing, though, how the Universe/God/Source sees the overview of our lives? I can't say that I have always been so relaxed about genuinely believing that I was going to get all of my dreams and desires. Before my son, Sawyer was killed, I realised I had quite a bit of resistance and scepticism about feeling worthy of all that I wanted. But, now, I am fully aware that I AM WORTHY of all that I want and desire. As much as, I am deeply wounded about losing my son to this physical earth life, I know I have grown leaps and bounds in an understanding of what we are here for. For me, I want to leave a legacy. Honestly, all humans, whether we know it or not, have an innate desire to go through life with the hopes of living, loving, learning and leaving a legacy. To leave a legacy is the spiritual nature of self. I also know that when it relates to resistance and all of the things I held myself against so profoundly, I can now look at with a sense of complete understanding, and with an attitude of "not caring."  Now, when I say "not caring" what I mean by that,  is that when you lose a child, it has a way of putting your whole world on its head. I, no longer, am concerned about the little things that, at one time, used to be so important to me. That stuff has no bearing on me, now. I am so appreciative of that, 'knowing.' I think I am going to write a lot more posts about my son, his death, and how to find joy after a tragedy like this happens. For one reason, and it's an enormous one, is because I think many women that have also experienced losing a child is that they either never talk about it, or when they do, it's so profoundly depressing. Truthfully, I do understand; however, I want to shed light on it, in a way that is uplifting and positive. To give many mothers a hopeful notion that when dreadful things befall us, there can still be daily, happiness and joy.

Here's why I changed the name of my non-profit to The Carter Settlement

So, the reason I changed the name has a few dynamics to it, and I had a little verbal incentive from my son, Sawyer. {smile} 

I was just coming out of my meditation last week, and I had a little thought come over me, about The English Settlement. The small idea was to change the name of it to my maiden name, just like this blog. Well, I didn't think much more of it and went about my day. {I knew with the hellish experience of when I changed my last name, back to my maiden name, after my divorce} that I had massive resistance about my former married name. I still hold a bit of unwillingness and much desire to have my independence. I know, that's where it originates from.

Okay, let me get on with it. So, what was I saying? Oh yeah- my reason for changing the name of my non-profit. 

Like I was saying after meditation, I had this feeling come over me. That same night at about two o'clock in the morning, I woke straight up, out of a dead sleep and felt as if Sawyer was speaking to me. All he said was, "Momma, I love you very much, and I know you want to honour me, while also leaving a legacy for my life, but, you do not need to name the entire foundation using my last name, English. You can honour me with your little storybook, "The Tale of Sawyer Lamb", create a little cottage in my name. However, YOU are the author, Momma. The real legacy will be about you as an author and illustrator. I'm just an extension of that legacy." 

Now, my dear friends, when I even type those words out on this computer, my eyes are full of tears, of pure joy! It may not make perfect sense to some reading this, but to me, and the complex emotions and feelings I have had about the foundation obviously had weighed heavily on me.

Now- It feels lovely not to feel guilty about changing the name of my non-profit to The Carter Settlement. I think of it as if Sawyer was giving me permission not to feel bad that I wanted to change the foundation to my maiden name, The Carter Settlement instead of The English Settlement. I have to say, it feels like such a relief has been lifted from me. 

I hope this inspired you to know a little more about me and to remember to heed all of those little whisperings of the spirit. I believe that our relatives beyond the veil are constantly leading us, and It's our job to remain sensitive enough to pick up on their little clues.  

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx