I've Been Crying Entirely Too Much Lately; Therefore, I Am Scaling Back And A Wee Bit Of Tasha Tudor Inspiration

Good morning, my dear mermaid hearts, 

The title is very woe is me, I am aware. (wink wink). Last week, I was struggling, and that, my darlings, is why I didn't put out much content. Don't worry, I'm all fine now, but I needed a bit to process what was happening. I had another spiritual breakthrough, for which I am so grateful. To be appreciative of our woes is something we should learn to embrace, for if we're trusting the beautiful process, we know we are to learn something of significance. It takes great courage to acknowledge that when particulars go awry, we are fully capable of looking within and sitting with ourselves to see what the meaning of our experience is and what Mother Nature is teaching. My darlings, once upon a time, I felt entirely embarrassed sharing my frailties, and these days, I am more my true self, and I want to remain that way with you: open, vulnerable and transparent. I know I am not alone in that notion. For many folks, the stashing of emotions is quite common. When we learn to embrace our whole selves, this is what unites us in togetherness. There is a productive way of sharing that sends off signals to other women, thus encouraging self-healing among one another. Here is a lovely little quote from the Tasha Tudor book The Private World of Tasha Tudor.

"People have rose-coloured lenses when they look at me. They don't realise I'm human. They don't see the real me. As Mark Twain said, we are like the moon; we all have our dark side that we never show anybody." ~Tasha Tudor

I love to emulate my muses and idols in reenactment photographs. 

I have so much to say today, so might you pour a cuppa tea, being we're all friends here? Please allow me to bang on for a few thousand words. It has given me time, and I've stayed sat with myself and deeply recognised where I intend to make changes. So, allow me to start with the feral kittens.

Do you recall the mum cat named Molly Mipsy and her three feral kittens, Peter, Constantine and Prudence? All of which I had the vet spay and neuter, and they are happily living in the cottage with me. Yes, all of that turned out well. 

Prudence, Constantine and Peter- The kittens in The Tale of Molly Kitten.

Last week, my mum and Jeffrey Shawn said in a passing conversation that I had too many projects at once and should focus on one thing at a time, or I was sure to find myself stressed and overwhelmed. As I often do when someone tells me I can't do something (such as handling loads of undertakings), I often prove them wrong and accomplish said objective with ease. I am sure that defiant behaviour is Sagittarius rising in that I don't particularly appreciate when told what to do. Not last week, though. I might add here now that prior to all of the activities I began piling on, I had set the intention that I wanted spirit to guide me to focus and to expand even more in any areas that I was blocking, which I wasn't possibly recognising. So keep that in mind whilst reading this post further. 

The first day, I awoke with a headache. Now, that might not sound extreme, but for a person who never has headaches, it was for me, and peppermint oil wasn't helping. So, I took a few Aleves, and that didn't help. The only thing I should've leaned into from the start was WATER! I was severely dehydrated. I kept going; however, that was my first sign of spirit, and I didn't pay attention. The next day, I woke up with a kink in my neck that was so painful, and again, neck pains.

I've never struggled with such things in my life. I couldn't get the pain to leave for over a week. Again, I didn't heed my body's call and listen. Here is where it brings absolute upset. I went to the garden to water the flowers as I do every morning, and as I was just about to turn the hose on, I heard a loud screeching sound. At first, I thought it was a bird stuck in the plants, but no! It was an entire litter of four more feral kittens, of which the mum was, at that moment, birthing the last one (I think), and then she took off. I left the kittens (for the amount of time the vet said to wait) where they were and hoped the mum would return. She didn't. I couldn't bear listening to the kittens crying for the day, so I scooped them up and got them settled. I began keeping them warm and bottle-feeding them. I was so stressed because of more feral kittens, and no one would take the poor things. I called everyone. 

By this point, the number of feral cats was taking over and coming out from the woodwork. My mum and I began getting up every two hours and bottle-feeding the poor little motherless kittens. Well, on the third morning, all four kittens were dead. I tried for three days my best; perhaps the mum knew all along they were sickly. I'll never really know, but I know I wanted to keep them alive. To support this post from becoming absorbably long, my dear father buried them, and I have taken to being more rigid in the feral cats I am now feeding. Now that I have controlled the feeding, the cats have all disappeared. Im not going to tell a porkie; I felt a sigh of relief when the poor little kittens had all passed in the night. All of the death I've had with animals was too much. I know death is a part of life, especially when having a small farm. However, I realised what my lesson was, as I was spreading myself too thin. When we don't hear matters when the spirit attempts to show us on the metaphysical scale, we then receive it where it will get our attention. I must laser focus and realise I can't try to save everyone. I am no longer in the business of taking the backseat in some regions of my life. It took this experience for me to step into my power.

In the next post, I'll tell you about an exciting series of paintings I've been working on. I think you'll love it.

Most affably, yours til' my next swim, Love Razz