Did you pour a cuppa tea? Today, I’ve stitched together a rather different kind of letter. January, tho’ is nearly gone away it has called me once again to meander around to re-examine a few notions that have been swirling about in my Piscean mind. The word that came to me is Surrender. I spent the greater portion of December and January surrendering. The month of January in the US and very much around our big blue marble is the time to reflect and is invariably labelled a new beginning, a fresh start.
I am a woman much more in tune with my world, and i know that from my English and Celtic lineage, January is not, in fact, the new year, but rather, April is the beginning. Up until the 16th century, the start of the New Year was celebrated on April 1st after a week of festivities which began around March 25th.
Therefore, i will be arranging into action this proper calendar for festivities and traditions going forth for The Carter Settlement and the attachment of (Stillwater-A Petticoat Society), but more on that announcement at the end of this post.
As many of you dear readers and friends know, I've been slowly transforming my lil’ cottage ‘Scarlette Rose’ into my Cottage of Belonging, and with that, there were for a time some bothersome details about how to make it as cosy as i have dreamt up in my imagination. The constraints: if we look on paper, it is truly not my home in the way of actual ownership of the cottage, and yet longing for the release of my parent’s restrictions on what i can and cannot do with it. However, suppose i am to challenge my olde beliefs (which i constantly do). In that case, i am relatively quick to acknowledge if the natural complexities i have placed on myself aren't once again a self-imposed belief of limitation. I should clarify that my parents have been on board whenever I wanted to change the cottage.
Perhaps it is me learning to trust and surrender myself more and more, and then others will likewise trust me. As within, so without, as above, so below. Such longings aren't very helpful if i am paying attention to them in a disempowering way; therefore, i have taken notice and allowed the emotions to pass through as little waves encouraging me to let go and then let go some more. As i practise this exercise along with listening to new beliefs as i sleep, they are and have dissipated mostly. As ive recognised the change in my life in patterns and thoughts, I am no longer spiralling into a tailspin; this knowing is why i have such a deepened love for yearning to help other women to remember their great worth. A confident woman knows no bounds when she can provide for her life; she's not forced to settle into detrimental connections (whether from the financial leverage of a family member, friendship or a romantic relationship) when she can sustain herself financially. I speak from experience, and i never shall want another woman to have to undergo that type of inner hell, and that is why i love to inspire women and young girls to be all that they are capable of being. It is my life's work and soul's purpose.
To have our little social gatherings is one way to encourage community, and also having The Carter Settlement an actual village where we gather together and enjoy old-fashioned ways and let our beautiful, wonderful imaginations play as when we were young lasses before the world convinced us we were childish and needed to grow up and be serious. I want us to become in spirit as little children again. We all have that spirit within, and im going to encourage that freedom at The Carter Settlement. In our little gatherings and in addition to here, this place (our blog) feels most like home, my true home of belonging. It is the other extension of myself, just as Scarlette Rose Cottage is my cottage of belonging. Of all the places i can share or feel safe enough to do so, it is here on ye ol’ web; strange, isn't it? It is similar to my YouTube channel. It seems as though it would be the opposite, but for me, it's not. Perhaps, my darling, think of this ol’ timey blog as our (yours and mine) little village of seclusion, a place to come to when yearning for conversation, feeling a bit social, or merely communing around the hearth. As ive sketched and drawn and painted each small room with little furnishings, i also want to create more little rooms (chipmunk nests) of comfortability and cosiness.
Now, to pass along the notions of my creativity to the blog will be a greater task as i am not exceptionally equipped with computer skills, but i will give my level best. There's a makeshift aesthetic that i want to remain on this here ol’ blog, i dont want it to become polished and sleek. I rather enjoy the old, outdated way blogging was once upon a time, and i plan to continue forth in the cobbling aesthetic of what i have currently. Do you remember that sometime back last year, I was planning a new website? I altogether abandoned the entirety of it. It wasn't me, and if it's not broken, why fix it? It resulted in me losing the theme design, but I've made peace with it.
I have also noticed from spirit as ive been “surrendering” that i have so often been unstable in my ways, and ive been shown this is from the example of mothering with the female models in my life. It is not a blaming when i speak of this, nor should it encumber my popularity as it is my personal experience, and i am allowed to speak my truth as i see it. I was shown by spirit that we learn as little lessons from the women in our lives as we mirror them. It is no longer within me to protect and try to save others from themselves or their experiences, and that ability to allow other folks to receive their lot in life has taken me decades with which to come to terms. If i had not protected those people from the law of the harvest (a reaping of what is sown), it wouldn't have taken so long for things to change on a monumental scale. However, let me not carry on with a dishwater face of discouragement; it is up and over from this point. There is no sense in dwelling on should’ve, could’ve or would've, for that mindset is discouraging and not a postive momentum to get caught on.
Let us embark on the month of January once again for a moment, as i have something else to share, and there is no better time for me than to imagine my desires for you (my dear friends) and myself. I thought that having (re)created Stillwater—A Petticoat Society (a reimagined society loosely based on Tasha Tudor, our elderess we all love so much) several years ago (but didn't quite do much with it afterwards). That is quite alright tho’, everything is divine timing. I think what better time to commence our little haven, centred each month on the rhythms of nature and the season's rituals, sacred practices, etc., to encourage our transformational voyages together? I also plan to add the sacred wheel of the year through themes all strung together with an English Victorian mermaid comely semblance.
In 2024, the two words Trust and Surrender became words that brought more understanding of what my inner being desired for me to acknowledge that I wanted and required to grow into my best self deeply. I have never included you, my friends, in sharing but have recently felt the longing for connectedness with women with a smouldering enthusiasm.
Amid my quiet life, ive spent many o’ years in employment with great attempts to create a kindred ethereal realm for us as gentlewomen curious about how to create a life we love. I believe last year (the most challenging year as my spirit allowed for a towering moment and I finally surrendered my egoic will), i was able to uncover my once incapability to lean into my delicate womanliness. Other women that ive admired and observed seem to embrace their kindred nature towards other women effortlessly. i can say I've tried, to a great degree, i might add. In truth, dear heart, it never stuck or held for long before i was returning begrudgingly to my masculine self-protective tendencies. I can now share with you why this was, and possibly, if needed, you will find comfort in my words.
I feel relatively proud of myself as i did (in 2024) manage to get much of the progress of what I learned into my visibility, tho’ no one on the outside would see it unless they've been up close sitting beside me, paying tight attention. Even then, one can never have the full perspective, can they? But, in truth, i believe that when you read my online diary entries (letters to you), you can feel it in my words.
In my masculine energy, i am very stubborn and unyielding at times; however, as i slowly meander through January, remaining grounded after having lovingly scrutinised my unwillingness to surrender for so many o’ years, and presently i am learning to be softly gentle with myself by lending a loving kindness to the little lass that so desperately needed remothering. Oft’ times, we may discover that place in our lives as we peer through the looking glass and accept our plight for the woman we are now and let go of the woman we were once.
Jeffrey Shawn has noticed on many accounts and told me he can see extraordinary change. In several settings, when i would have leaned towards a particular response, i have made opposite decisions, and tho’ i might have taken a course of action verbally or acted upon my emotions, i have been soft but also exhibited great strength. It is undoubtedly my efforts and inner work that I am most thankful to have done. My heart feels settled in peace and clarity with an intimate acknowledgement that i clearly can see how much i have evolved. Speaking in a positive way towards myself is rather healthy, and truthfully, i very much desire to see my world where women commonly talk highly of themselves and not feel a tingle of shyness or feel judged by other women for exuding self-confidence. It bestows heartening encouragement to my dreamy piscean spirit. In a pretty beckoning way of saying, dear friends, that I am learning to re~mother myself in many ways. Perhaps I shouldn't say lack (per se), but this untouched part of myself had atrophied for so many years. I never quite knew why i was an abrasive person (in some areas of my personality) nor how they formed. I was always aware that there was a coldness to me, even as a mother, when i was raising my darling cherubs. I do not fault myself because I’m learning (relearning) how to love deeply all the parts of myself. As i was thinking of a lovely word for the month of January, the word “Surrender” came to me during meditation. Oft’ times, we encounter notions in grim ways, and i can't help but believe it is from our own undoing. Shall i speak for myself here?
I have been reading many of Sarah Ban Breathe's books, and they deeply resonate with me. Are you anything like me, and buy books tho’ not quite sure when you will get round’ to reading them, but know you will one day. I'd never heard of Sarah, especially in the heightened days of popularity from her Simple Abundance book. Then, one day in 2020, i was looking for Victorian traditions and came upon her book Mrs Sharp's Traditions: Reviving Victorian Family Celebrations of Comfort & Joy. It pricked my ears, and that's when i was able to channel Tasha Tudor more deeply. I instantly felt her spirit, and it was as if she was sitting next to me, giving me the truest perspective of how to create our little gatherings. The channelling experience was one of wonderment and excitement. My veins felt exuberant with so much creativity and ideas i could barely contain myself. As of late, those same feelings have erupted again, bringing me to our next and first little social gathering for the books at Chinsegut Hill. I am happy to announce that (until i have the land for The Carter Settlement), we will utilise the beautiful Victorian historic location Chinsegut Hill, our version of Beatrix Potter’s Hilltop. I will share the pamphlet this week on the blog, and if you aren't able to come, i will share all the wonders of the event through my YouTube channel. I plan to have it all recorded and nicely presented so you can be involved and a part of our community, Stillwater.
April 5th, 2025
So, in conclusion, my dear mermaid hearts, let me summarise. Hello there, my dear hearts, and happy new year. May we find peace, expansion, enlightenment, growth, kindness, and deep friendship in our togetherness. I love You.
Most affably yours til' my next swim, R
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