"Now some point a finger and let ignorance linger; if they'd look in the mirror, they'd find that ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning, It takes all kinds of kinds."
"These are the only genuine ideas, the ideas of the shipwrecked. All the rest is rhetoric, posturing, a farce." — Jose Ortega Gasset
My beloved friend and I were having a chinwag the other day about the ole' app Instagram. I began prattling on about how much I once had a vexing challenge with Instagram. Let me be frank. It was the bain of my landlocked existence. That is until I realised my (Mermaid Inner Being/Spirit) was attempting to teach me something about myself if I latched my gob for five seconds and listened.
Spirit/God/Consciousness has ways to help us through life if we fully stop attempting to do everything ourselves or quell long enough, taking flight from our problems each time we encounter a challenge. Our spirit is there to guide us; however, we humans have stubbornness like a two-year-old in the grocery line, refusing to pipe down our tantrums until we get our lolly.
The beautiful advantage for me is that I write at nauseating degrees about mindset work, and writing about Instagram is no different. I spent nearly a decade working through what my emotions of jealousy over the notorious ladies on Instagram with a massive following were teaching me. In 2012-2015, I was ridiculously jealous of Guinivere Von Sneeden's attention. I knew there had to be some meaning to why jealousy was eating me alive. Do you recall I wrote this post? It is quite apparent I have grown, and today I can happily report having healed completely. In my heart, I knew I was just as talented as her (if not more), but she had the numbers, so why didn't I? I couldn't understand it, so In my vexing, I turned my frustration on its head and became determined to understand myself. Today I teach others, and It feels so wonderful. I am so happy you've swum along to visit me today, dear mermaid hearts. I've missed you.
What a full circle here, my friends. Guinivere's success is because she allows her desires to flow in and holds no resistance to her dreams. It was no reflection on me except that I was not allowing my desires to materialise, and she was. Rather than understanding how the mind works, I would externally blame whoever was 'getting' what they wanted and I wasn't. How dare they! Hey ho. She was following the flow and allowing all of her desires in. Well done, Jenny! The truth is when someone is successful in an area, and we also want that similar desire (such as a large following on Instagram, a home in the countryside, to be a New York Times Best Seller, etc.) It is merely our Inner Being signalling to us from our deeper selves about what we also really want. Everything that makes us jealous is a fragment of our truest potential, and rather than utilising those jealous feelings, we externalise them and blame that other person when It's truly the internal denial of our own Mermaid Inner Being.
Everything is going to be alright. Just keep calm and carry on Razz. Says the lass who, several years ago, was perfectly anxious whenever I would open Instagram on my phone. I also know that when I have a little skettle of fish, I am quite determined to risk a woman's happiness to extrapolate a method that will cure the madness. It is rather impossible to do otherwise when my conscious prompts me. The serum of truth is always best. Though it may initially hurt, it's much better than denial. Furthermore, physical ailments arise from holding in our emotions.
I have written an excessive amount of evergreen posts about Instagram because even today, it's a subject no one seems to discuss how I think it should.
In addition, I also remind myself that because I am a cast member on the reality show Cottage to the Core (Hello Sunshine Productions), there should be a spokesperson on a platform that evokes and speaks openly about the issues women are facing in the cottage core community with specificity to Instagram. I elect myself. (Read that as If I have the voice of an undertaker. Teehee, I kid, I kid) You can rest assured of my continued attention on this matter. There are "cottage core women" whom I will not specifically name (because I have respect for them, although I am going to take them apart like clocks for a moment) who assert to be wise, lovely and all-encompassing wee delicate flowered examples of what living the dream life is with their little cottages on pieces of secluded sacred earth with gardens, glorified tablescapes, artistry, book reading, and all things that "happy" should be. They share the carefully orchestrated reels with their California fun filters and songs of Can I Have the Day with You.
Whereas that is ideal, the images and reels are majestic and evoke a feeling of fantasy; that is not real life, and I find it misleading to misrepresent. I know what you're going to say. You reflected those women because you were also that way yourself, Razz. I know you're right, but for the sake of this post, I am speaking of how I was then. Many women spend excessive time on Instagram when they should place that time into their true mothership, their blogs. I am aware the women on Instagram want to become influencers and be Instagram famous. Still, I also want to warn them that they seek fame because they are insufficient in their value of self and seek validation through feeling significant on Instagram. Our mental health crisis in society today is for this reason. It is not because we allow our children (daughters) to stay sat on social media constantly. I could cure the entire world in a split second. I say that with absolute conviction. How? I continue to teach women and mothers how to reprogram their minds with new beliefs that instil exorbitant amounts of self-belief, self-worth, and self-love. Which, in turn then, they will teach to their daughters. This is why I am so passionate about teaching women to have ridiculous amounts of self-confidence; for our children (daughters) do not have a cat-fighting chance in hell without claws otherwise.
My dear friends, Ladies, you do not own your content on these platforms. I am merely stating this because we should look at what we are devoting our time and attention to; if, god forbid, these sites went down, many would be stranded on a deserted island. I have seen dozens of women leave and abandon their blogs for Instagram fame, and it's quite disheartening.
"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." ~Howard Aiken
Therefore I've concluded those who want to change, learn and expand will find my writings and teachings and the rest; well, life goes on. Whilst those folks who heard and didn't listen will remain left unchanged. For the dear folks who haven't yet escaped the mindset of knowing intrinsically that numbers do not equal value or are willing to search their soul and desire to become better women, I will always keep the faith that one day they will want to change their lives. I want women to live their dreams and best lives. Let us not misappropriate our emotions toward other women, accept responsibility for our actions, and work to improve. We are in this together, ladies.
You can be a massive influence in the world and yet be a wretched individual. Numbers, picturesque Instagram grids and popularity mean absolute nil. The meaningful women who follow these larger accounts begin coveting and yearning for that same life but feeling they won't ever have it because their self-worth has become severely punctured. I know this because I have had hundreds (yes, hundreds) of women message and email me this nearly verbatim, and they convey sadness and inadequacy. I was also this lass myself. I left Instagram, and many women still do to this day, and it's because they do not understand what is occurring. So rather than mulling over the emotions and trying to understand our Mermaid Inner Being, we run away and delete our accounts, put them on private, etc. I know because I did this myself. Overall, I had about eight different Instagram accounts. Many leave Instagram because they can't come to terms with it or do not understand what their Inner Being is trying to teach. I will always admonish you, dear hearts, to stay on the platform; fleeing never results in sustainable healing once and for all. Stay and dig deep to understand yourself and those feelings and emotions bubbling up to the surface. They are a 'good thing' (as Martha Stewart would say.) I know it's not the fault of the women behind the large accounts in totality; however, they do tend to push the portrayal of perfection trapped in a moment, and I want to draw them back into the great waters of the living.
Rather than passing on the temptations to post on Instagram, may they override into the quiet calm within where the day sleeps, and may their hearts go to an internal validation growing strong at the alter of their heart.
Women in our climate need confident women to uplift and direct them towards self-encouragement and a healthy mindset. A positive, optimistic perspective is a beautiful way to live out one's dreams; yes, I live this kind of fairytale life today, but I arrived here from deep internal work I've done for myself. And you can too. It doesn't come easily; everyone would do it if it did. One must want to change, and the fire within must burn fiercely. I see what these women with larger accounts are doing to the detriment of many women who follow them. Many years ago, before I changed my subconscious beliefs by imprinting new ones, I once knew many of these women personally. I say I once knew because our spirits no longer resonate, yet I still hope they read my posts because whereas I was angry, I am no longer, and my goal is to help women. I adore all women and truly find extreme joy in teaching my comrades. I am interested in spiritual expansion and becoming the greatest version of myself, and I want that for all ladies. I know digging and unearthing the truthfulness of who we are is not a walk in the park. Yet, as a beautiful society of women, we will never unite deeply with the connection of friendship if we continually keep performing the same as we always have or living in the assumptions of what we think jealousy is when it's merely a symptom. All things are symptoms of a deeper issue.
"Insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different result." -Albert Einstein
These ladies (as lovely in many areas as they are/were) have no interest in sprouting into the greatness they inherently are; they boldly stay upon their high horse and remain veneer, never revealing the truthfulness of who they are by being transparent. I am constantly amazed (and not in a good way either) at how little so many folks do not require or yearn for thought-provoking valuable posts. I have no issues with posting images of pretty perfection; however, I find the attention grabs at nauseating levels quite distasteful, especially when there is not an ounce of value to them.
The people who assume I'm behaving overly dramatically are the precise ones who refuse to see what transpires. I'm not speaking to them. I want to talk to the ones who have a passion for living a highly elevated life—one where we, as women, want to understand how to become the best and influence change for humanity as a whole.
Why am I the only person who ever seems to write about this type of issue occurring on Instagram? Life will throw every person a difficult blow at some time or another. I promise you that an Instagram outing to High-Clere Castle with your besties is not going to comfort you on a wretched night when you've got the news your mum or child has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, you get the call your son is dead, or your husband has lost his job and can no longer work in the capacity he once did. When we as individual women continue looking in the opposite direction and refusing to accept our responsible role as leaders in our field and repeatedly run from our issues, run away from Instagram, delete accounts, and put them on private rather than tell our friends (followers) we're in the middle of a life crack, thinking that's going to solve our issues we will remain in the state of stagnation. We will keep reliving the same ole' thing day in and day out like a hamster on the wheel. I'd rather chew my arm off than live like that.
Running away or putting on some fake notion that all is right at every moment of the day is purely bogus. The women who are truthful with themselves and the women I spend time with can spot this nonsense on stilts a country mile, but the ones who can't, it is my responsibility to hold them accountable. If my only way is by writing here on my blog and in my books, I am pleased as punch to do it. It is their responsibility to use their platform to do good in our world, most especially for women and our daughters.
This post is a call to the ones who read this, you know who you are, and you must understand that if you aren't willing to be truthful with yourself and be an example (a real example, not the Instagram polished toxic positivity version), you cannot be honest with others.
Before closing this post, I'm going to caveat for a moment. I am by no means saying you shouldn't try and be positive; I am more than happy to at nausea announce I am the first person to tout Take Joy and optimism, but not at the expense of never allowing the world (my friends) to know who I truly am. There is the element of vulnerability and self-trust that must be present in a woman that is essential in being a person one can admire and, at best, listen to. The world and the cottage core community on Instagram need more women willing to be open and share their real life. Look at anyone with a terrific pull in our world, such as Taylor Swift. I'm not necessarily a swifty, but I respect her for her massive fan base because she learned how to capitalise on her brand. She is incredibly innovative, and she knew how to move people to love her, and their commitment to remain devoted to her even decades later is astounding. She doesn't have to do much promotion, if any; why, because her fans promote and advertise for her.
The secret is she gets personal and lets these women into her life. She allows herself to be vulnerable and show her real life, which creates a deep connection with those who love her. She will have an album review party and invite fans into her home, or if someone tweets her, she will arrive at their wedding and sing. In her songs, she writes with a proper amount of openness. She's a mastermind in this area. She knew what leads to dedicated fans way before anyone else. This conception is why she is so beloved, and folks wonder why; it is that she knows how to touch the hearts of women. If we touch their hearts and move them to change to be the greatest version of themselves, they will also want that for us. That is how universal law works; two-fold, good karma, if you will.
One might have the numbers, but if women look at their numbers as equal to loyalty, they will eventually be disappointed. I hope these women will begin recognising that a tick on a reel or a like on a photo does not equate to the real depth and connection with the ladies who follow them. Suppose we do not put ourselves out there in camaraderie. Women must feel an emotional connection and bond with one another; otherwise, it's all smoke and mirrors.
I suppose having written this entire 3,320-word post has done good, for it's solidified for me that I will carry the torch myself because, as I've always taught here, we cannot make someone change, therefore what I can do is be the woman I wish to see on my Instagram feed and the world. My employment and yours, my dear hearts, is to be responsible for one's emotions and recognise that our Inner Being is leading us to an ocean of understanding ourselves if we choose to listen. Are you a willing participant? My dear mermaid hearts, if we abandon our schemes of jealousy, I conscientiously believe we will expand by leaps and bounds, and all of our dreams will come to us easily and effortlessly.
I love you beyond measure. Toodle-Pip darlings!
Most affably, yours til my next swim, Lady Rxxx (or you can call me Razz for short.)
